11:48 p.m. - 06.03.2003
You gotta have faith.
I don't know what it is about Julia going clubbing every Tuesday that bothers me so much.
Is it because I'm jealous?
Jealous that she can take on anyone and anything. That I probably couldn't go within a hundred yards of the club without having a panic attack. That I couldn't handle it.
I said to her today at Project Q, "Can I go, too?"
"We don't have any alcohol. You couldn't handle it."
Simple as that.
Yes. I know I need an aid. I know that I should probably head to that clinic one of these days and get something prescribed.
But isn't a part of beating social anxiety disorder, having faith that you can?
These past few months, with Julia's help, I have gotten better. Hell, I'm actually going to Project Q every Tuesday and Friday with her.
Then she went and said that I couldn't.
And she's probably right.
It just would have been nice to have that vote of confidence that I could do it.
