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12:37 a.m. - 2001-04-16
My Cousin, Brian
My cousin, Brian. Now, I don't see Brian that often, but when I do I love it. He's definitely one of my favorite cousins. This guy inspires me. Every time I see him, I think about who am I and how people see me and how I can become a better person. He comes off so friendly and happy. I don't know many people who have this quality, that's why I get these inspirational feelings seldom. A couple people I know who seem to have this quality as well are my friend Alicia and my friend Erica. But Brian is different... you could talk to him for 5 minutes and feel like he's your best friend and you could trust him with anything. He's also very, very funny. I wonder if he could be reading this... but anyway... I try to come off as friendly, I do! But something happens where my insecurities run high and prevent me from appearing as carefree as I'd like to appear. The killing part is that even once you get to know me, I'm not as FRIENDLY as Brian. I'm NICE, but not friendly. Not warm and open and inviting. Just... nice. Nice in a bad way. Nice in a I'll-let-you-walk-all-over-me kinda way. I try not to be that way, but it's who I am. Damn it! Why do I have to be so damn nice?!

 

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