1:17 a.m. - 2001-04-28
Love for me?
If you're reading this, chances are you want to get to know who I am ... or you're extremely bored. Either way, I have something very important to say. I don't like talking about this much...
I've been with a guy the last four years until March 2001. I wouldn't necessarily call it a serious relationship because the guy was incredibly immature. It's still a wonder why I stayed with him so long. But I know now that I was scared. Scared of being alone. While I was with this guy, I asked out other guys. I was like a climber - I can't let go of one thing until I have something else. But I never got anything else. And that whole THING made me sad, and being that this was the only guy who seemed to even remotely care about me, I stayed with him. I don't want to go into extreme detail about him, but the point is this: I've recently let go. And I can't say it feels good. Not that I miss him, but I miss having someone to kiss and someone to hug. What I've missed for very long time, and probably never even had, is a boyfriend who actually listens to me and really cares about me. And this guy did not. While we are still pretty good friends (we've know each other for almost 6 years), I don't hold grudges. I'm not the type. Unless you do something wholly unbelievable like chop off my arm or something like that. So, as I sit here typing, I send this question out into the cosmic void: Will there ever be a love for me?
