1:17 a.m. - 2001-05-21
Anger Management
I have some anger management problems...
At first sight, I don't seem like the type of person who would resort to any kinda of violence when angry, and usually I don't. But there are certain things that happen and certain places where I will just feel like punching a wall or something....or someone.
Before I tell you what I did, let me tell you this one thing first, just so you don't get the wrong impression of me. I'm not one of those stupid dorks "trench-coat mafia"-type people who, when they get angry, they go around shooting everybody, including themselves. I don't want to kill anyone. Killing is bad. And I hear that nowadays...they're sending people to jail for it. Earlier in this entry I joked about hurting someone, but I probably wouldn't do that either. Because hurting is bad, and you can get in trouble for that too.
I remember, a few months ago, coming home from school. Someone on the bus said something about me that pissed me off so much! I usually go straight to my mom's room after school to tell her about my day and whatnot, but I so furious I went right to my room. I threw my book bag at the wall, took off my shoes and threw them at the wall, and cried for a while.
What I've done recently, though I'm not particularly proud of, I'm willing to talk about. I was, once again, upset over something so trivial (I couldn't find a hat I was looking for) ... and I got so mad, you would have thought someone just stole money from me or something equally as extreme. I threw some other hats across the room, slammed a door (twice), and then I kicked it. Well, it just so happens that the door that I kicked was hollow. And now ... there's a hole in the door. One I tried to hide from my mother, but she found it. AND NOW!!!! I have to pay my mom for a new door. (This, if you didn't know, is VERY bad because I already owe her about a hundred dollars from CDs and books, and I may have to pay her some money because I ACCIDENTALLY broke 4 plates...not all at once though.)
My mom says that I should just learn to control my anger. And I told her that it's not that simple, and that it's kind of like her and her smoking. She said it was completely different because her smoking "doesn't really hurt anybody" and my anger is damaging her property. But they're both bad habits, that we both KNOW are wrong and that we shouldn't, and that we can't seem to control them. Hopefully, I'll get my problem under control.
