Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

10:38 - 10.21.2001
My Loneliness
Sometimes it's get so lonely here. Here being in my own skin. Living this wretched life day to day...year to year.

Charles continues to call me, but only for one thing. And I can't help but think that maybe I should stop this. This whole thing. I mean, I say that I want to be in a relationship with someone. I say that I want someone to actually care about me. But I continue to pursue this purely physical relationship with Charles. I realize the possible repercussions that come with my actions, but my loneliness has taken a hold of me. It's nice to touch someone and be touched. It's nice to feel desired. Even if it's just physical and not emotional.

I know that I like Josh, and that if me and him ever get together this whole thing with Charles has to end. Because I'm so not like that. But until then, I have nothing holding me back. And the longing is pushing me forward. Pushing me towards Charles.

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!