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23:03 - 11.21.2001
Family & My Dumbass Car
I failed my road test. Okay, well technically I didn't fail my road test. My dumbass '96 Toyota Rav 4 failed the test because one of its brake lights was out. Like, what? So, anyway, I have to wait until January 29th for the next available road test thingy. January. FUCKING JANUARY!!! (Sound familiar?)

I almost cried when I heard the next available date. January 29th? I'm a senior in high school. And I'll only have like 4 month of my entire high school career to enjoy the pleasures of actually driving to school. Why does everything feel so THEN? I have to wait for another road test. I have to wait to get a parking permit to drive to school. I have to wait to get money for the parking permit ... and gas. And insurance. And something really cool to hang from my rear view mirror. THEN, and only THEN can I turn up my music very, very loud driving down the road to Hell. I mean, high school. I mean, Hell.

On a somewhat lighter note, Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Because of my uncle who can't forget bullshit that happened 4 years ago, my family is split up this year. I never really liked all of my family too much, but I did somewhat enjoy the fact that we were all together. Now, I just want to stay home and cook a pizza ... maybe watch a movie too. Something I haven't seen in a while. Maybe... Star Wars: Episode 1.

Family. I haven't really gone into great detail about my family, so now I will. Because I'm bored, and yeah...

I'm biracial. My father is white, and my mother is black. My father left me when I was three, and I don't speak to anyone on my father's side of the family (including my father). So, sometimes I feel a little "odd". I know that these people are my family. I know that they THINK they love me and/or care about me or something of that sort. But I can't help but notice the differences. Not just in the skin tone, but interests as well. It's kinda like I don't fit in with my family at all. There are a few choice people who are very, very close to me. T-Mikki (Auntie Mikki) and her son (my cousin) Isaiah (9). Isaiah is like the little brother I never wanted. And my cousin Mia(20). She's like my older sister. But there's also other people in this so-called family of mine. People who I'm very sure that if they saw me on the street or something, they would not remember my name. "Oh, yeah... You're ... Jo's daughter?" Yeah, okay. Walk away before I run you over with my dumbass car. And I really hate being defined by who's daughter I am. Just wanted to throw that out there.

Will I watch Episode One: The Phantom Menace? Will I consume the turkey or the pizza? Will the cops pull me over for driving with one brake light out, not to mention without a license...?

Who's knows?

 

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