22:43 - 01.15.2002
Pseudo-friends
Listening to: "The Rock Show" by Blink 182
I realized today that I have no real friends. I know that there's a lot of people at school that I talk to, but no one that I feel like I can really talk to, you know?
And the people who I do have: my pseudo-friends - are just so damn annoying. Seriously though. The majority of these people must think that I have nothing better to do than to sit there and listen to them talk about themselves.
I think they look at me and see that I have no friends and that no one really likes me. So, being so desperate to talk to someone about the only thing they care about: themselves ... they choose me to complain to. Goddamn! I'm so fucking privileged!
I know that I've probably written another entry a couple months back that pertains to the same topic I speak of right now. But it was just really bad today. I was crying uncontrollably for a good half an hour or so. I got so sick of feeling guilty for not making my pseudo-friends happy. When the person that I should try to please is me. Not to be selfish or anything like that. Just to maybe ... not be a such a doormat for everyone to walk all over. That's all.
p.s. clix me and i'll love you forever!!! =)
