Get your ow
n diary at DiaryLand.com! contact me older entries newest entry

7:03 p.m. - 06.26.2002
Don't fuck it up, Erica.
I don't know what to say...

I'm in this relationship, and it feels strange. I've never had someone care about me so much, the way he does.

And to clear something up, I don't feel skeptical about Martin and me. The thing is that I'm always skeptical about guys that I really like that I don't think like me back. And that's how I was in the beginning. But now I know how much he likes me, how much he loves me. Skeptical? If anything, I'm worried that he's going to realize how boring I am, and leave me.

I don't know. I feel like I've been rejected so much that it's what I expect. Actually, I usually never even make it this far. To be in an actual relationship with someone. The second a guy finds out that I'm attracted to him, he stops talking to me. If I do manage to get involved with anyone, all of my hopes and aspirations promptly blow up in my face when he dumps me that same week.

I love him. I really do. And I'm sorry if I'm acting strange or like I don't want to be with him. This is all very new for me. And I just don't want to fuck it up.

 

previous - next

about me - read my profile! read other Diar
yLand diaries! recommend my diary to a friend! Get
 your own fun + free diary at DiaryLand.com!