10:36 p.m. - 10.31.2002
For Andrea
My life is right here. In this diary.
And if you want to know more, you can ask me. I'll tell you.
I don't mind showing the seedy underbelly of my life...
My mother. My estranged father. The trials and hardships of childhood and adolescence.
It's all here. Waiting for you.
I'll cry in front of you. If the topic insists on it.
I won't attack you to reciprocate.
But it would be nice. To know that I'm not just putting myself out there for nothing.
Because without reciprocation, or even acknowledgment ... it feels like you don't care.
And maybe that's not true. Maybe it's total bullshit. But that's how I feel.
I've never had this sort of problem before. People usually use me or come to me for my willingness to listen to them and their problems. But you ... you'll have no part of that.
You're reserved, and you keep your personal life personal. That's fine.
I just hope that someday maybe you might even start to feel as close to me as I do to you.
