10:53 p.m. - 04.03.2002
Get Up Offa That Thing and Go Make New Friends
Okay, so Spring Break was all fun. And now the boredom has set in.
Don't get me wrong. I'm very happy that I don't have to wake up at 5:30 to catch my bus, go all the way out to school, go to my classes, and come home at 3 o'clock. I'm so grateful for that.
It's just the thing about breaks, such as this one. I re-realize how friendless I am.
I was watching Six Feet Under this past Sunday. And on the show the woman who died had no one to come to her funeral. One of the guys suggested calling people from her high school. "Everyone has friends in high school," he said. Then, Claire said that not everyone has friends in high school. "I mean, they have people they talk to or maybe do things with. But they're just a filler."
I couldn't help but think how true that was. Especially in my case. In my whole life, no one from my school, any school for that matter, has ever spent the night over my house. Except once. I've never stayed at anyone else's house. Except once.
In fifth grade I was having a birthday party. I gave invitations to everyone in my class. No one showed up.
I've told others these "complaints" and they do something that I don't want them to do. They blame it on me. "Erica, you have to open up more." "Be more social." If a person really wanted to be my friend, then I don't have to go around pretending I'm someone I'm not.
Okay, okay. I have been thinking about asking someone to do something. Well, Mike. You'd think after the whole debacle, I'd have resentful feelings towards him or that things would be awkward. But they're exactly the same, if not better. And I'd would just ask him as a friend, you know. It feels like such a big step ...
I mean, what the worse that could happen? He could say no. And then I'd die. But, it'll be fine. How could he not say no. I mean, if someone asked me if I wanted to go see a movie or go out or something - I'd say yes in a heartbeat. But that's me.
You'd think as you get older, life would get easier. But it only get more and more complicated.
Though, recently, I've discovered the wonder that is James Brown. I mean, I've been groovin' around the whole house jammin' to hits like "I Feel Good" and "Papa's Got A Brand New Bag" and my personal favorite: "Get Up Offa That Thing". So, it's not unlikely that Mr. Brown is responsible for my somewhat chipper mood lately. And who do I have to thank for that? Why ann-frank, of course.
The conundrum I'm attempting to resolve now: who would I thank if I won an Oscar?
