2:46 a.m. - 08.16.2002
They don't get along. And how it's affecting MEEEE!!!
Yesterday, Andrea and I went out. And I had fun.
Though I was a little perturbed that she wouldn't let me apply for a job at The Buckle. They had a sign! A NOW HIRING sign!!! I'll work anywhere dammnit! Let me gooooo....
She got stickers for her car. You can see her SOAD sticker at my website.
I have no idea what to do about this whole thing between her and Julia.
I really hate to be so self-absorbed about this right now. But it's my diary, so who gives a fuck, eh?
I've never had real friends. Well, throughout high school, there were several people that I would talk to and hang out with in school. But never would they call me. Or very rarely. Never would someone come over my house. Never would someone invite me over.
(Let me correct myself there: two people came over my house and spent the night, throughout my entire four year of high school: two people. I was invited over maybe one or two people's houses for whatever, but I always felt weirded out by all the complete strangers there. I don't respond well to those kinds of social situations.)
And when they were friends, it felt so good. To have friends. Real friends. Who called me, who did things with me outside of school. (Of course, Andrea would have to do something outside of school since she's not in high school anymore, but you get the idea.)
I'm sorry. I'm completely boring, okay? I don't go to parties. I don't do those kinds of things that young people do. I'm eighteen. But hey. That's not my scene, yo. A mild case of social anxiety disorder rears its ugly head.
And now the two people who were good friends, who starting to become really good friends of mine, just aren't friends anymore.
I don't want to try and save it anymore. But I find myself doing it anyway. I'm going to really try to stop. Because there's really nothing left to work with here.
It just so pisses me off. I don't really go out with anyone else. I don't have a boyfriend right now. I don't go out by myself because I don't have a car yet. Or a job. The only person I ever go out with besides Andrea and Julia, is my cousin Mia. But that's like once or twice a month, if that.
Interesting things happen with me and Andrea. I can't tell my good friend Julia about it. And vice versa.
I'll just continue to be friends with them both. And try really hard to bite my tongue when it comes to the other.
Me and Andrea are, hopefully, going somewhere on Saturday. So, yay! =)
