1:54 a.m. - 02.16.2003
Happy Birthday, Mother.
My family and I threw my mother a surprise birthday party on Saturday.
I'm not really sure why. Maybe I'm just stupid. But whenever events like this come up, i.e., family birthday parties, family reunions, etc., I get excited about them. Like it's going to be fun.
But it's never fun. Especially if it's at my house.
My mother likes to show off how "trained" she's got me.
Before she left to out with her friends (so that we could set up the balloons and everything else) she gave me this lecture about making sure I clean the bathrooms while I'm gone. Including hers. Excuse me, mom. There are 3 bathrooms in this house. Why should I have to clean yours if I have my own? I don't ever go in there! Then, she starts on how she's taking her car keys with her because she doesn't trust me. What the hell. I have a car!
Then, we set everything up. I have to go get ice, balloons, sodas, and pick up my friend Julia. I get back around 6:50. My mom isn't supposed to be back before seven.
But at 7pm the only people there were me, my aunt, her son Isaiah, Jennifer (my mom's friend's daughter), and Jennifer's annoying son, and my mom's ex-boyfriend DuWayne. Julia was in my room at the time, since she wasn't feeling well.
And promptly, at 7 o'clock on the dot, the doorbell rings. But then I hear keys jingling.
It's her.
She walks in the door. DuWayne, still putting sodas in the cooler, gives one half-assed "Surprise." Auntie Mikki yells "Surprise!" And then I throw in yet another "Surprise."
I went to my room and hung out with Julia for a while. When I come back up my mother asks me if I took the Act's last Saturday. I say no. Auntie Mikki is all pissed like "You lied to me! You told me you took them!" And my mom is pissed because I missed them. I lost the thingy I got in the mail that you need to take them. So I didn't go. Yes, very irresponsible of me.
And my mother's reaction wouldn't have been that inappropriate had it been just in front of me.
But no.
"I want my forty dollars back! Write me a check. Right now! I'm not paying your insurance anymore. And you won't have a job because you won't have a car. I'm taking it and selling it. You'll have to live with Auntie Mikki. I think she's the only one who will put up with you."
Tough love doesn't work with me. I don't know how many times we go through this. Yeah, I fucked up. Majorly. Okay? But even when it's a little thing, she still gets so ... she's a fucking bitch. And 'tis very unnecessary.
Pick up the pieces, Erica. Get it together, Erica.
Stop crying over your mother who doesn't love you, Erica.
Who never has, and never will.
