7:24 p.m. - 07.09.2002
A Rather Interesting Few Weeks...
These past few weeks have been rather interesting.
It was 3 weeks ago that yours truly starting going out with Martin. The boyfriend. And things have been so weird. Things started so quickly. Maybe a bit too quickly. It's like I'm just now getting to know him. And sometimes I feel like I don't even know him at all.
And another thing... It's not that I doubt that he is, in fact, a compassionate listener. But it's very hard to tell when I'm talking about something and he's completely silent. I mean, no acknowledgment. Rarely do I get an acknowledgment. Then, when I feel like I'm boring the shit out of him (and completely humiliated by the way), I'll say "Okay, I'll shut up now..." Needless to say, I think I say that particular phrase a lot.
There is also something else that's been rather interesting. Hmmm... how do I put this? Lately, it seems, guys have been a lot more ... receptive ... Of me. John, Dre, Richie, etc. Not saying that they all want to "hook up" with me, but there's that flirtatious vibe goin' on. And I don't usually have that.
Albeit, I would never act on it. Because even though I'm feeling ambivalent about my relationship with Martin right now, that doesn't mean I'm going to go out and cheat on him. I really care about him, and I just know that if I mess this one up I'll regret it for a really long time.
