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9:47 a.m. - 12.03.2002
Too Young.
I'm young.

Too young. Young for everything that I want.

I want people to take me seriously when I speak.

I'm so fucking sick of everyone calling me spoiled. I'm not a spoiled little girl who's mommy bought her a car. I have to pay for it. Dammit ...

And you might think that alcohol would have something to do with it. Because that's what so many teenagers and 20 year-olds want. To drink. But I don't really care for it that much. My mother lets me drink when I want to, which isn't often.

I don't know why I like older men. I really don't know. I just ... do.

I always thought that I didn't. Because my lifestyle is very different from that of an older man. What would we have in common? I would say to myself.

But over the past few months, I've been interested in quite a few older men.

And because of that, I feel so young. I feel like a child.

I don't want to be older just to feel more close to them.

But I can't help but think that if I was older, people wouldn't think of me as a little girl.

I'm not a little girl. Maybe I'm not as independent as I should be. Or as you think I should be. But I am only eighteen. I just barely graduated. How independent do you think I should be? I have a job, I have a car, I go to school ...

What more do you want from me?

 

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