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12:02 p.m. - 07.07.2002
Whatever
I feel like I've been hiding certain things and certain aspects of my relationship with Martin.

Looking back on past entries, things come off as perfect. Don't get me wrong, it's going pretty good. But it's not exactly perfect. This entry is really just to set that record straight.

There's the issue of him being 7 years older than me. Which doesn't really matter to me. But there are times when he says things that make me feel like I'm eleven years old.

And then there was the joking around ... and I always thought he was serious. He hasn't been doing that as much lately. But when I came over his house last Friday, we were sitting there ... and it felt like he kept saying things just to see if I would believe him or not. And, me and my gullible self, always believed him. I don't want to change him. That's who he is; that's fine. It's just sometimes it feels like he's doing it on purpose to me, and I start to feel humiliated.

But I still love him.

 

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