12:50 a.m. - 2001-07-05
4th Of July
My mother and I usually go to the fireworks every year, but just because she had a headache, she didn't want to go. But, her friend Bonnie called and invited her to a restaurant by the lake, usually with a great view of the fireworks. So, we decided to go. At first, it was me, my cousin Isaiah (9yrs. old), and my mom. Then, once we got there, me and Isaiah stayed out in the parking lot hanging out (it costs a lot of money just to get in to the restaurant), while my mom went to go eat. My cousin Mia (20 yrs. old), and my aunt (Isaiah's mom, aka T-Mikki) were supposed to be coming soon. So, I called T-Mikki from the cell phone and she said she had to pick up Mia, then pick up Mia's friend, Audia. I was kinda pissed then, because I like most of my "basic-extended family" and when we get together, I don't like people's friends there. It just doesn't feel right. You don't bring you best friend to the family reunion, or to the baby shower, or whatever. It just doesn't work like that. But Mia's friend is really nice, and after they got there and we got to talking, it wasn't so bad. It started getting dark out, and the fireworks started to go off. Me and Mia acted like complete fools! I don't know what it is about me that I act so ... "funny" around Mia and T-Mikki (and the rest of the gang), but not in school or whatever. It makes it hard to know who I am. Am I this really funny girl, or this serious girl, or both? Or neither? Mind-boggling, isn't it? Anyhoo, the fireworks were really loud and we (me & Mia) were screaming at the top of our lungs, half-screaming half-laughing, trying to outdo the fireworks. The rest of the crowd there sucked. Usually you got your "Oooohh!"'s and your "Aaahhhh!"'s but they were completely silent. Not to worry, because my T-Mikki, embarrassing as usual, was barking. That's right! Barking! You know, like how they used to do with Arsenio Hall. T-Mikki is funny. Needless to say, she was ridiculed the next day. The next day, everyone who came to the fireworks except Audia, came to my house for a little get-together. Only, my cousin Jamal (twenty-something) and my mom's friend DuWayne were there. We played a few games, and it was really fun. T-Mikki was really funny! Gosh, the stuff that she does.... I can't explain it to you; it's one of those you-have-to-be-there-type things. Anyway, they went home. I went to my room and finished watching my taped episode of Six Feet Under and the first episode of the Real World NY. Then... I started watching a very weird movie called Welcome To The Dollhouse. I stopped it after about a half an hour through, wrote some prose about how lonely I am, and how I have no real friends and that I may be depressed, suicidal, paranoid, psychotic, or all of the above. I was crying a lot, and I haven't had a tissue box in my room for a while, so I came upstairs to get one, and got distracted by this darn computer. And so here I sit, typing... And this is how I spent the last 2 days. I hope you had a very, very happy Independence Day. I certainly did.
P.S. In case you're wondering about how T-Mikki got that "nickname." Here's the reason: Mikki (that's her name) is my aunt and all of my cousins', and we all called her Auntie Mikki. We all, me & my cousins, kept saying her name so much. Auntie Mikki, Auntie Mikki. Then it just became T-Mikki. And when I was first learning how to read & write, I spelled T-Mikki's name with two K's instead of Mickey, because I spelled phonetically, and that's just the way I continue to spell it.
