12:37 a.m. - 03.12.2002
Scary-ass Shit
During this past week, I've been scared beyond my wildest nightmares.
I've been forced to decide what I want to do with my future. I know it seems like an easy task at first glance, but trust me. This is torture.
Well, at least for me, it is. Why just me? The fact that I'm a senior in high school, the fact that I haven't applied to any colleges, the fact that I haven't taken the Act's or the SAT's yet ... yeah, I'm one lazy bitch.
It's like everything is slipping away, and something is about to happen. It's this really weird vibe-y thing. Where am I going to be in a year? (I was forced to ask myself this question when EBB asked me if I was coming to the conference again next year, as a chaperone.)
I always feel for a micro-second that I know what I want to be. Photographer, writer, webpage designer ... the list continues forever. But I still don't know. I mean, seriously -- what am I doing with my life? Seriously, do you know?
I'll tell you one thing that I'm sure of: Being a senior sucks. Especially if you're not ready for all of these countless monumental decisions that are heaved upon you, in which you have like two seconds to decide. And ready -- I am not.
Where will I be living the next five or so months? My mother has made it abundantly clear that she will not shelter me for much longer. (Yes, I've considered being outraged by this somewhat rash decision on her part -- but you must know that I ran up her credit card bill about $300, and I totaled our car, not on purpose. I'm just a huge liability.)
"I miss the simple days. Those Chuck E. Cheese days. Those afternoon naps and recess days." - Erica Glatting
