1:47 p.m. - 06.06.2003
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
I had one of the best birthdays yesterday. Followed by, what feels like, the worst day of my life.
Andrea took me to the park, and out to coffee. And she got me a card, which so made my day. :)
My friend London came over last night and watched the MTV Movie Awards with me. And all throughout the show, we would tell which celebrity's dick we would suck. Strange, I know.
One of the best birthdays, followed by the worst day. The worst day in a long time.
My car is still not fixed.
Turns out I need a new engine.
I haven't worked in over 3 weeks. I getting absolutely no money coming in. I've applied for jobs, but it seems as if no one is really hiring.
Even if there was work to do at my current job, how am I going to get there?
I have a balance of -98.00 in my checking account.
Things just seem so hopeless right now.
My mom will help me out. I know she will. Emotionally, she can be cruel and callous. But when it comes to the money, she's usually there for me when I really need her.
But it's not that. I have to learn to do this on my own.
Julia has an apartment on the east side. She has her job. She has bills. She pays them. She tells me that if her roommate moves to San Francisco this spring, maybe I could move in with her.
I can't even afford a pack of cigarettes.
I get a charge card in the mail.
Whoo hoo. My first one.
Only a two-hundred dollar limit.
Hmmm... What to buy?
Wanna know what fucked up shit goes through my head?
Hair dye because these roots have got to go.
And a carton of cigarettes.
Oh yeah, and tickets to see the White Stripes.
Credit cards aren't for people who can't afford shit.
I don't know what to do.
I know my mom will help me, but I can't help but feel like ...
so sick of this situation. This broke situation. Not just broke-I-can't-afford-my-Marlboro-Lights-this-week-broke.
But broke-I'm-going-to-over-a-thousand-dollars-in-debt-broke.
