5:40 p.m. - 07.23.2002
Single Life vs. Shitty Relationship
I'm so sick of this bullshit.
I wish that for one week, this damn fucking relationship was stable! I'm sick of the arguing. I'm sick of the disaggreements. I'm so sick of his stereotyping people. Sick of his telling me why he hates the things that I like. You'd think that the guy that I was with would just say "Okay, we disagree." But NO!!! He has this need, this craving to just say everything possible to make me want to hate him.
I don't know anything anymore. We've had like 3 or 4 near-break-up conversations. So, I'm confused about this whole damn thing. I'm confused about this guy who wants to be with someone whom has almost nothing in common with him.
I'm confused because I'm so scared of being alone. I'm confused because I think he's really sweet but I'm scared that he's not the guy for me.
Why? Oh, why I am so gullible? Convinced by the media and my environment that I'm somehow unable to function ... unless I'm in a relationship.
How easy I'm cajoled. I don't want to even get into the whole you-have-to-be-skinny-to-be-beautiful thing that the media does just to have 13 year-old girls throwing up, or not eating at all.
This is too hard. I know relationships take work. But it's been a little over a month that we've been together. This much work is just ... too much.
I might have bitched about being alone. But this feels worse.
Give me the single life over being in a shitty relationship any day of the week.
